Category: Advent 2015 – Parenting

Jesus attended the wedding in Cana along with his mother and his disciples. As we noted yesterday, Mary quietly approached Jesus, drew him aside, and whispered in his ear, “They have no wine left.”

Mary knew her son. He had not performed miracles in public before this time, yet his mother never doubted that Jesus could resolve the wine shortage at wedding in Cana. And her trust was not misplaced. Without saying a word to those in authority – the father of the bride, the groom or the steward of the feast – Jesus simply turned the water into wine.

The apostle John tells us that Jesus used this first miracle to “reveal himself to his disciples” (John 2:11). This miracle led them to believe in him. Note that John said the event caused the disciples to believe. He didn’t mention Mary. Why? Because Mary already believed.

What difference would it make if we truly believed God could work in and through our children, our nieces and nephews, our grandchildren? As Christ changes their lives, what other people might observe and also choose to believe?

Most of us remember the story of Jesus turning the water into wine, but what does this event reveal about his mother, Mary? Today as you read John 2:1-11, pause before you rush to the climax of the story. Look at the event from Mary’s perspective.

Remember Mary, by being pregnant, missed out on her own wedding celebration. Now, years later, she is attending the wedding of a friend. Mary could have pouted, been depressed, or even become bitter as she remembered her own loss. She could have scowled and even smirked when the family ran out of wine. She was not responsible for the success or failure of this bride’s wedding day celebration. Yet Mary observes the fact that the supply of wine is running low. She is compassionate and does not want her friend to face embarrassment or allow this shortage to spoil the bride’s special day. True compassion is more than sympathy. It leads to action: She calls upon her son to solve the problem.

That compassion is a quality she passed on to her son. Over and over Jesus feels compassion for those in the crowds because their problems were so great (Mt. 9:36), for the weak in the crowd who were hungry (Mt. 14:14), for two blind men at the side of the road (Mt. 20:34), and for a widow grieving the death of her son (Luke 7:13).

Mary taught her son to be alert to the needs of others. Do the people whom we love see us modeling that kind of compassion? Do they see it moving us to action?

Secrets are hard to keep in a small town, but there was one huge secret in Nazareth: Joseph knew he was not the biological father of his oldest son.

Despite the town gossip that clouded Mary’s pregnancy, Joseph never tried to defend his own reputation. He didn’t try to explain that he was innocent. He didn’t attempt to clear his own name and force Mary to carry the shame by herself. He never revealed to his neighbors the words he received from the angel. Alone at night, he and Mary shared their secret.

Joseph adopted Jesus. Joseph treated him with the same care and love that he gave to all his children. He taught him a trade. He sent Jesus to synagogue school. Joseph did such a good job parenting Jesus, that people in town assumed Joseph really was the father of Jesus. While they later questioned Jesus about his ability to do miracles, they never doubted who his father was. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?”

Have you ever had to hold on to a painful secret in order to protect those you love? Did you risk being misunderstood? Were you tempted to defend yourself or shunt the blame on someone else? Jesus told those in the crowd, “Everything that is now hidden or secret will eventually be brought to light.” (Mark 4:22) Joseph likely died before he saw his secret revealed. Are you willing to wait, as Joseph did, for God to reveal the truth in his way and at his time?

Luke twice records that Mary pondered extraordinary events in her heart. Instead of seeking the advice of other mothers, she went off by herself and sat quietly with her own thoughts, sorting the fragments like broken potsherds. How did all the pieces fit together? Alone, without distractions, Mary compared each event that occurred with what the angels and Simeon and Anna had earlier revealed to her.

Did this example of Mary prompt Jesus, once his ministry was in full swing, to seek time apart? After his baptism, Jesus immediately headed out into the wilderness for an extended time of solitude and prayer. In Mark 1:35 and Luke 5:16 we learn that he made it a habit to seek out lonely spots where he could rest and pray. Before choosing his twelve disciples, Jesus spent an entire night pondering quietly and seeking God’s wisdom. On the night before his death, he left his disciples and prayed for hours alone in the Garden of Gethsemane. A pattern that characterized his mother’s life became his own.

As a child, I watched my father rise each morning and spend time in prayer. It wasn’t easy for him to find a quiet place in a house with four small children, but he did it. And now, because he established a pattern, I do it too.

What good habits are you passing along to those who follow in your steps? Does one of those habits involve setting aside time each day to ponder God’s greatness? It is never too late to begin to form new habits.

Luke 2:19 tells us that at the time of Jesus’ birth, Mary treasured up inside her heart all the amazing events that occurred at that time. After the trip to Jerusalem, Mary did it again. She privately pondered the words spoken by her son.

By the time Jesus was 12 years old, he without doubt had heard about the events surrounding his birth. Even if Mary had never spoken to her son about those events, we can be certain that in a small town like Bethlehem or Nazareth, others would talk. What yenta would not whisper about the young girl in Nazareth who missed her wedding celebration because she got pregnant? Who could stifle news about foreign kings bringing gifts to an infant in Bethlehem? After all, someone remembered these events and told them to Luke and Matthew as they recorded their accounts of Jesus’ life.

More likely, at an appropriate time Mary and Joseph talked with Jesus about the unusual events that marked his birth…the angels, the shepherds, Simeon and Anna, the wise men, the flight to Egypt. These stories glorified God. They were not to be forgotten. As the psalmist said in Psalm 78:4-7, “We will not hide these truths from our children but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord. We will tell of his power and the mighty miracles he did . . . so the next generation might know them – even the children not yet born – that they in turn might teach their children so each generation can set its hope anew on God, remembering his glorious miracles and obeying his commands.”

What amazing things has the Lord done for you? You may not have seen angels or magi, but you have observed God at work. Have you shared those stories with the next generation so that those you love will remember God’s power and choose to obey his commands?

On one of those annual trips to Jerusalem, Jesus wandered off. At least that is how Mary and Joseph perceived it. Jesus knew where he was headed so there was no “wandering” at all.

Jerusalem was a big city. The streets were packed with strangers. Jesus was only 12 years old, just a year or so older than our grandson Josiah. I can easily imagine how two parents would be anxious if their son did not reappear hours later, but surprisingly there is no mention in Luke 2:41-50 of Mary or Joseph being concerned until late that evening. They seemed to have had a high level of trust in their son, expecting him to behave with a maturity beyond his years.

But when Mary and Joseph finally realized Jesus was missing, can you imagine the level of panic in their hearts? Joseph had allowed not just his own son, but God’s Son, to wander alone in such a dangerous city. What had Joseph been thinking? After all, hadn’t he and Mary fled the city years earlier when King Herod tried to kill the child? Returning from Egypt, hadn’t Joseph feared settling in the city because Herod’s son Archelaus was ruling next? Now wasn’t another son, Herod Antipas, on the throne? Was Jesus still in danger? With such thoughts filling his head, can you understand the high level of urgency Joseph felt as he hunted for Jesus?

Knowing the time to trust and let our children fly on their own or when to hold on and pull them back from danger is different for every child. Every parent has to depend on God for wisdom. Before you rush out the door today, pause and ask God to reveal his wisdom for the things you will face in the day ahead.

Today’s verses may seem insignificant, but the principle underlying them is huge. When Mary and Joseph returned from Egypt, they settled once again in Nazareth, far to the north of Judea, but at least once a year they traveled to Jerusalem as a family. In Luke 2:41-42, we read that it was their custom to head to Jerusalem every year. Mary and Joseph had already dedicated Jesus to the Lord, but they also followed through by taking him regularly to synagogue and to Passover celebrations. Mary and Joseph established a pattern of meeting regularly with other believers. And when Jesus grew up, he continued to attend his local synagogue. In Luke 4:16 he entered the synagogue in Nazareth “as was his habit.”

Regular church attendance is not something that happens naturally. Parents instill a pattern in the lives of their children by exposing them to church services week after week, month after month, and year after year. This offers no guarantee that their children will continue to attend church and believe in God, but in those early years, habits are formed. Verses memorized in Sunday School sink deep into the soil of a child’s heart. Years later, God can use those verses to call those children back to himself.

My husband Gene was raised in a home where his parents did not attend church, but by God’s grace, his public school teacher offered to take Gene to her church. For many years Alice Huntington faithfully picked him up every week and transported him to Sunday School. After class, she took him home, a step that meant week after week she herself would arrive late to the adult service that followed the class. I owe more that I can ever say to Mrs. Huntington for the way she invested in the life of my husband. Which person in your life is God calling you to invest in today?

Joseph received a second message from an angel. This time he learned that King Herod wanted to kill Joseph’s infant son. In Matthew 2:13-15, we see how Joseph immediately rose from his bed, woke Mary and began packing. Mary raced to pick up their child. Darkness still dominated the landscape as they crept out of town before dawn, before soldiers arrived.

Traveling alone on major roads was dangerous; thieves lurked in the countryside. The trip to Egypt was exhausting, filled with stress and threats of discovery. Moving to another country was costly. It meant starting over, finding work and learning a new language. What a lot of upheaval to protect the life of Jesus!

Joseph could have ignored the angel’s message. After all, no one had led an attack specifically targeting infants for around 2000 years, since the time of Moses. Joseph could have said, “It was only a dream.” He could have brushed it aside and said, “What are the odds of something like that happening in real life, in a small town like Bethlehem?” But he didn’t. He believed and acted immediately, despite the huge cost to him and his family.

In the Mid East right now, thousands of refugees are flooding across the borders of Europe. They flee to protect their families. When you look at their harried, exhausted faces on your TV screen or in magazines, remember what the faces of Mary and Joseph must have looked like that night as they fled to Egypt. What steps would you take to protect a child from angry soldiers? If your loved one’s physical safety is so important to you, what greater sacrifices would you make to protect that person’s spiritual health?

In fulfillment of the Law of Moses, Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the Temple and dedicated him to the Lord. What they did was a routine act of obedience, but what happened next was far from routine.

Two older people, Simeon and Anna, hung out at the Temple. One by one, they approached the young couple holding the small infant. First Simeon and then Anna spoke to them of the future ministry Jesus would have redeeming the people of Israel. Joseph might have listened carefully to Simeon. After all, Simeon was a male, a person with a reputation for being righteous and devout and worthy of respect. But Anna? She was an old woman of 84 years. A widow. Yet she was also a prophetess. Joseph and Mary listened to her with respect. Out of the mouths of these two witness the truth was affirmed.

Sometimes others can see potential in our children more clearly than we parents can. Are you a parent? If others told you that your son or daughter, your niece or nephew, your grandchild was going to grow up to be president of our country, would you believe them? On the other hand, you may be the aunt or uncle. You may be the grandparent. You may be the only one who sees the potential in a family member and you may be the only one to affirm that person. What words of affirmation can you pass along to those you love today?